I am lost…
I don’t know were I am going…
I don’t know what I will do with my life…
I don’t know what kind of path I am on…
I don’t know what kind of career I want…
I don’t know period.
The unknown is a scary place. It’s a no-mans land where raw fear manifests in your soul and causes you to doubt everything you ever knew. It’s a vast, open expanse of…
nothing. Dangers are unknown, and shadows lurk in the corners. It is dark here and nothing is recognizable. This is what the unknown feels like and it’s terrifying.
I hate not knowing things, especially my future. I hate not knowing what’s next, I hate not having a plan, a strategy, and I hate being lost.
God has shown me that I have a problem with trusting. He has shown me that I am scared to trust Him, and scared that I will be let down if I do. So, He has been putting me through a trusting period, and it has not been easy.
He is slowly weaning me off the trust that I know now and is showing me a whole new level of trust. He is showing me that He is trustworthy and that He will always be, no matter what. He is healing my heart and teaching me to (slowly) trust again.
Trust is not learned in a day, and boy, do I still have a long way to go! It is possible to heal and it’s possible to trust again. It takes everything you have, it means becoming: vulnerable, honest, uncomfortable, and open with Him.
Trusting in the unknown is really hard, but I believe that God has a beautiful plan for you and me. This is a plan that is better, bigger, and brighter than what we could ever dream for ourselves. It will surpass our understanding and be tailored to fit our needs.
My favorite verse explains this well:
Jeremiah 29:11-13, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek with all your heart.” NIV
God calls each of us to take a leap of faith and come walk on water with Him, in the hard times, during the very worst of our storm. Please don’t be like Peter who doubted that he could walk on water with his Savior.
But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”
“Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”
“Come,” he said.
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”
Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”
Take a chance, risk your heart, and risk all that you thought you knew. Put your trust in Him no matter how small it might be, because He only needs it to be as big as a mustard seed (Matthew 13: 31-32)